Monday, 22 February 2010

...No More Jargon Please!

So Sunday came and went…and the date with The Geezer was unfortunately as underwhelming as expected! So I was out to brunch with a close girlfriend and he called whilst I was still in the car with her so we watched him walk into the cafĂ© that we had arranged to meet at. (Of course no cringing or laughing or having to force said lovely to drive off and not wait for him to turn his face to check him out…! Girls will be girls…) First impressions were that he walked oddly – ok I know that’s harsh but, well, he did.

Anyhoo so the conversation was ok – it wasn’t particularly free flowing but we managed to graze over the usual suspects – family (he had a small one), job (he loves…as I was soon to find out – watch this space), holidays. I guess overall he was a sweet guy but just of a bit of a nervous disposition which led him to say things like ‘I am a very cultured person’ and how he prefers wine bars to club ‘because I’m not a very good dancer’ and how he thinks it’s really important ‘to give people the opportunity and not just say no after one date’. Oh dear. When at one point he suggested next time we can go for dinner and I can have more than my current fresh mint tea, I was slightly perplexed and maybe uttered a nervous laugh – lame response but…hell no was the initial thought buzzing around in my head!

On the topic of his job, everything we seemed to talk about he drew a parallel with some kind of work oriented jargon – for instance when the topic of wedding planning came up at one point (‘‘I guess it’s really just like project management’’) or keeping in touch with old work contacts in case of future opportunities (‘‘It’s just networking really’’)…and every time I concealed my inner urge to laugh he’d come up with something new! I almost had to go to the loo by the time he mentioned monthly KPIs…

You know those rather awkward moments on a date when you have a semi difference of opinion with someone you don’t know and don’t want to come across as too strong a personality by disagreeing yet you really can’t bring yourself to agree with them either?! Well that happened when he brought up the subject of ‘giving people the opportunity’ and sometimes people are just too short sighted etc. He really made a point of it leading me to think he had perhaps been treated this way? I was totally in agreement that you should be hasty but you also have to balance that with your intuition and trust your instincts – you meet someone and you will have a clear inkling as to whether you want to meet them again or not – you know some kind of a connection or affinity…and unfortunately there was no sign of that here. He text in the evening saying lovely to meet and would love to meet sometime soon…I just replied saying nice to meet but suggested I don’t see it going further and good luck on the search – what’s the point of tagging someone along when I am clearly on a different page, right?

Onwards and upwards!!

Friday, 19 February 2010

The Geezer...

So it’s been months since I’ve had a chance to update this and yes invariably the odd date or two – and wedding has elapsed! I

More reasons to cringe and laugh and phone the girls giving them reason to have a giggle or two…the latest one to come on the scene is a guy who I’ve been put in touch with on the back of his grandma seeing me (clearly looking a vision ;p) at a recent wedding. Sounded fine on paper and spoke to him on the
phone - not a bad conversation – brief but not entirely painful. (Having said that the first thing i noticed was his 'geezer' voice...and he's from North West London - what's his excuse?!) We said we would see how the next few weeks panned out and arrange to meet. He has text a everyday since our midweek conversation, the latest one came today - asking if I fancied coffee or lunch on Sunday as he ‘just thought it would then answer a few questions 4 each of us’ and he’ll be working away the following week. I suppose that sounds fine but is it wrong that it riles me when boys are so anal about things?! I mean, can you not just keep it casual and not so contrived until you actually meet at least? Some of the fruit loops I’ve recently met are just a bit too keen to go in on the life partner line from the get go – where did the happy-go-lucky-let’s-see-who-materialises-nature of things disappear too eh…Then he just made up some silly line about how he’ll play footy better on Sunday am knowing he has a date with me after…Oh dear.

So I was thinking maybe I am turning into a super harsh critic but having picked the brains of a few great girlfriends, whose judgement I wholly trust, and hearing them agree that there was no need to be so contrived/sound like we're signing some life long contract on a first date has calmed any doubts I started to have. (And yes this is the same guy who earlier in the week, when I commenting on text about his work said 'Yeah I enjoy my job, now I just need a partner' Ok that is not just me going crazy clearly...way to freak a girl out?!)

I do find myself ruminating on the idea that perhaps I should be happy that someone is taking an interest and trying quite diligently to be funny and in touch and actually show genuine signs of wanting to commit to something long term should the right girl come along etc but I just think it’s all irrelevant if you don’t even know each other yet?!

Hmm on that note, when the behaviour goes to the other extreme and people cancel or continue to be elusive for no apparent reason, it should make you appreciate the over friendly/over texting/over eager ones…but it doesn't quite work that way. And that begs another important question – in fact the age old question: Why do we put up with the idiots? Or do we? On occasions when I've been on the receiving end of disappearing acts and non responders (I'm a marketeer...can you tell), I’m often told by those around that I’m too nice (grr hate that word) and should tell them where to stick it. Well my thinking is just because I don’t engage in idiotic mind games out of choice and try to be pretty straight up (even if I am by default perceived to be keen or less mysterious) so be it…It's a happy medium when you get to a place where you just go along with the situation at hand and don't let it change you...

I was asked recently if I've read that book ‘Why men love bitc*es’? Clearly, said person felt I needed to…I think not thank you very much! I love being the serial optimist...After all, didn't Carrie and Big make it 6 years on?! He he...Yes you can stop rolling your eyes, but having recently expereince a very special person finding their someone special totally unexpectedly and after many critics has given up - stupidly of course - I've never been more certain that fate has a way of surprising you when the time is right. Right Happy Friday readers - please spread the word if you like the blog and become a follower...I promise to fulfill my end of the bargain this time and write regularly - I forgot how much I enjoy this even if I am the only one to read it! Watch this space for Sunday's post date review..wish me luck...! xoxo

P.S. Who has read that book?!